Rattled But Resilient

It was just waiting to happen. And am sure that like me many other women in this city were well aware that it was just a matter of time. When it happened in Delhi, I wanted to pen my views but could not. A strange numbness would take over my mind each time I wanted to express myself. I would relive all those moments when I had been groped and pawed as a young girl. All those times when I would hate myself for being born a woman. I wanted to cover up my body in layers and layers of clothing, be invisible or would pray to God to bestow me with some magical powers to punish the perverted animals. It was all the more confusing because the two men at home, my dad and my brother gave me all the freedom while the men on the streets exposed me to the inhumane side.

Fate brought me to the then Bombay and I took my first breath of freedom. In a crowded bus I would anticipate something to happen but nothing happened. I was scared to join an evening college for my post graduation but my brother laughed off my fears. And as I learnt to live without fear, I realized that I didn't need a male to be besides me always and slowly I fell in love with my life as a woman. In those days when there were no mobiles for my mother to reach out to me, my deadline to be home was 11PM. Can you beleive it? I could be out without a male escort till 11 in the night!

Then, I started working and my job demanded irregular working hours. I have driven back home in the middle of the night, all alone. The cops at the nakabandi were a positive assurance of my safety. I have never been scared in this city, of walking up to a cop and asking for help and they have always been there. The few shameful incidents that ever happened didn't daunt my trust in them and still hasn't. 

One day, in the evening at around 5PM, I was driving back  from Lokhandwala. A group of youngsters returning from their routine cricket match shouted out some comments. There and then, I knew that my city has changed. The daily newspapers loaded with horrific crime incidents confirmed it all the more. Initially I tried to pass it off  as wild imaginations of my mature age. But then when I exchanged notes with my friends, I knew I wasn't wrong. Somewhere the city had stopped respecting its female inhabitants while the women on the other hand, got more and more self dependent. Is it this insecurity that has forced the males to turn barbaric towards the womenfolk?

The system of law and order is crumbling and we are talking the same things over and over again each time the youth of a girl is humiliated. Our demands are heard but not paid heed to and heard too only because they are in the form of an outrage. They talked about speedy trials when the rape happened in Delhi. That was December. Eight months and where is the verdict? As a woman I don't see it as a fast track case anymore. And neither will any pervert male waiting to pounce on another innocent female! 

The accused claim to be minors the moment they are caught. Why not consider only those who can produce a proper certificate acquired at birth as minors and the rest be treated as majors no matter what? How many more to be victimized to guard the human rights of a wrong doer? Do they even deserve to be allowed to cover their faces from the world?

Since childhood a woman in India is taught not to step out without a male as an escort. But now one male can't save us. So should we start moving with a posse of males as our security guards. Oh No! We should now ask for police protection each time we go to a lonely place!! 

I can go on and on like the endless debates going around. But I can't, because the more I talk about it the more suffocated  I feel. But come what may, as a woman I refuse to let my spirits be dampened. I am answerable to all those males who have let me be alive in my mother's womb, to all of them who have held my little fingers and made me learn to walk, to all those fellow students who have been besides me whenever I excelled, to all those colleagues who have believed that I can reach the skies and to all those friends who have been besides me in the hour of need. So the ones who have not been able to adjust to the strong headed independent woman of today can sit and sulk because there will be an uproar each time a heinous crime is committed against a woman in my country, till the laws are strong enough and the lawkeepers are left with no option but to provide a safe environment to us.  And above all every modern day mother will bring up her sons instilled with tremendous respect towards women. Because after all, the onus to change the society has to be taken by us, to make it a better place for our own survival.

WHO CARES??

A couple of weeks ago I did what every Hindu in Mumbai is proud to do....Yes!!! WALKED ALL THE WAY TO SIDDHI VINAYAK TEMPLE FOR DARSHAN ON A TUESDAY MORNING. I can not explain the exhilarating feeling I had after the darshan. I felt so elated. For the next two days the very thought that I had walked down to Siddhi Vinayak kept bringing back a zestful smile to my face. Every year at least once I visit Siddhi Vinayak, but that day at 3.15 AM when I set sight on the idol of Bappa, it was a different  feeling altogether. This was the  night of 17/18th June.

Today when I look back I remember that on that very day when I had reached out to God, many pilgrims      were struggling to survive in Uttarkhand. No matter how much we pass off the floods of Uttarkhand as a natural calamity, we all know that we have pushed the nature to a point where it has started revolting back. Hinduism, which represents the culture of living life in a simple way has lost its true meaning for all of us. The calmness and serenity of our minds is long gone. We have made competition a part of even the most mundane activities of our lives. Everything is materialistic because money brings in all the happiness.

Hills are being developed to accommodate the influx of tourists. Any piece of  land available, is being constructed upon. The outsiders go and leave behind plastic, litter and marks of  hooliganism. The locals take it quietly without uttering a word because,  these are the people that are bringing in money and with the soaring prices there is nothing else on our minds. Religious places have been modernised  to make life easier for the pilgrims. A couple of years ago I was shocked to see the changes that had been done to Vaishno Devi. Frankly I found the Vaishno Devi which I had visited in 1984 better than the concrete structures that have come up today. Why? Why do we kill the basic character of a place in the name of modernisation? Go to Shirdi. Lost is the beautiful, serene village where Sai Baba once lived. Horrendous, ugly malls stare at you in the face.

On my way while walking to Siddhi Vinayak there was not a single place where the people walking for the darshan could sit and relax for a couple of seconds. Since ages Tuesday after Tuesdays after Tuesdays people have been walking to Siddhi Vinayak on Monday nights, but I didn't find a single footpath on which I could walk. I had to walk on the wrong side of the road to keep an eye and be alert, lest a speeding vehicle bumped me off. I had to sit on the edge of the high footpaths smelling in the stink of the city. Yes, have you ever noticed that in addition to all other problems during rain nowadays the city stinks! There were huge piles of filth pulled out from the drains and left in heaps as it is. Alas! the memories of the deluge are long forgotten.  And by the way, whose idea are those footpaths because I don't see any senior citizen able to use them without the fear of increasing their arthritic problems.

The authorities decide to extract two different kinds of taxes namely Vat and then Property tax for your properties, in one year. They also add up the pending amounts for the last couple of years and you have to pay it. Giving a relaxation of a couple of months is enough they think. Taxes have become more of a kind of the punishments the headmistress Miss Trunchbull  used to vent out to the children in Matilda. Moreover, you pay the taxes and forget about your rights as a citizen. The roads you move on are so bad that I am sure we spend a larger amount of money on getting our cars and bodies repaired.  Yes the living and the non living are in the same boat so they are repaired, The air we breathe is full of pollutants and nothing new in that complaint. The vegetable, pulses and any other thing we eat or drink dumps in loads of chemicals into our body. We have stopped thinking as to how much of chemicals or banned substances they have. We make ourselves happy by looking at the size of the cauliflower, the brinjals and the gloss on the fruits.

If the authorities themselves are so unconcerned what to expect of the common citizens. In Hindi there is a saying 'Jaisa Raja waisi Praja' ( As the King so are the Subjects).What better way to explain the situation today. We don't think twice before fleecing our fellow citizens, before finding ways for breaking the laws or before bribing. Sadly, it's a never ending circle of life during Kaliyuga that's swallowing us in.

As a harrowed citizen my dejected feelings...? Well, I'd say that I don't know the statistics and I don't even want to figure it out but yes it seems, the system and the authorities have only in mind the top percentage of the country which is already affluent and can afford just about anything. The rest can fend for themselves for their survival. Even if they can't Who Cares? 

DO WE ACTUALLY CARE....?

A couple of months ago when the rains were about to set in,  a public awareness campaign by the BMC caught my eye. The corporation had requested the citizens not to throw plastic bottles, and plastic into the nullahs......But did we care...?

Its been 7 years since Mumbai suffered the deluge. We all blamed the administration for not cleaning the drains. But since then have we personally stopped using plastic?  We had criticised so much after the deluge that it's the overuse of plastic which clogged the drains and resulted in the loss of so many lives. Today the administration has levied charges on each plastic bag that we use in malls and supermarkets. But do we ever falter before asking for a plastic bag? Is it so hard for us to carry a bag of our own?  How demanding can it be to keep a few bags in our cars? 

Is it difficult to reuse the envelopes or the back side of the used papers supposed to be thrown away? I sometimes even use the bills given to me  to take notes. I don't care if someone thinks I am stingy. For me, I am trying to pass on a better world to the generations to come. I hate to throw an empty paper into the dustbin. 

So many times I have noticed that the window of a swanky car is rolled down and plop.... a bag full of garbage is thrown out or a mineral water bottle is tossed out with the expertise of a seasoned bowler. It breaks my heart to see even a small piece of paper being thrown out. Does it ask for too much to carry the paper with us and throw it in the waste bin at our home???

I wonder how most of the international cities are kept clean by the administrations. Obviously it's the citizens as well, realising their part and not littering. Actually, I shouldn't be wondering about this  since I have been brought up in a city like Chandigarh. I have always had problem settling in other cities basically because of the high standards that city set for me. I never saw people throwing their rubbish on to the streets. In the mornings around six when I would be cycling down to school, the streets were being cleaned. In Mumbai the municipality people get down to work only by around 11, when the traffic is already at it's peak. When the citizens themselves don't have place to walk peacefully, the BMC guy struggles to collect garbage. I look at it and think, "What a farce ........?"

I have thought over it again and again, and only a few days ago my positivity gave in to the sad feeling ,that there is no way out of all this mess. It is all like quicksand...the more we try to come out of it, the deeper we sink...!!!!

Still....still...I will keep on carrying the trash back home and putting it in my garbage bin and stare back harshly at  anyone who opens the door of his swanky car and spits on the road....and I invite you all to post your comments, photos and anything that you notice that knocks at our conscience to keep the city clean, on the page of this group started by someone with the same dreams as me but more proactive and bold than me ...https://www.facebook.com/groups/280350462071313/members/

POTHOLED

Pothole????? Nay I will call them craters. You find them all over Mumbai. Their count increases during monsoon. Actually they are found in abundance all over Mumbai, but it's during the monsoon that they seriously start multiplying. Their life cycle is great. They have a birth date and beyond that they just keep living.  What dies is a part of you every time your car, cab, cycle, auto or your FOOT goes into it.  You want to scream out but can't because as a mumbaikar your never dying attitude will be questioned. You spot them from a distance....you slow down your car....then just at the last minute you realize it's bigger that the surface area covered by your front tyre.  You have almost failed the test of avoiding them. But you still are not ready to give up...the never give up Mumbaiyah attitude raises its head adamantly. You swerve your car and there,  you hit against the car overtaking you. If it's not the doctors bill from the backache you got by bumping in and out of potholes, that makes a dent in your pocket, the dent in the car you hit surely will do.

It's more of a mission to spot them during rains when they are filled to the brim with rain water.  They are actually placed to keep your alerts high while driving. A way administration has figured out to keep a check on your driving. You can be a little agressive and slap a Public Interest Litigation against the administeration. But that too falls on deaf ears. Loyalty runs in our blood that's why year after year after year the contracts are given to the same people who can do a better shoddy work each time. They too learn from experience.

So now, with the BMC unabashedly making true statements that they won't be able to fill all the pot holes before the monsoon, even with mud or tree branches, The Road Ahead Certainly Seems To Be Full OF Potholes.

Can We Be More Considerate

Last week I struck Gold. Watched two good movies back to back. First Vicky Donor, and then I decided to go and catch upon Pan Singh Tomar. I had to struggle my way through the early morning traffic jam, to go to The Hub in Goregaon. That theatre has been a blessing whenever I have been late to nose out  a good movie. From  experience I have learnt that a delay of only two weeks too can make me go galloping to The Hub, to catch up on a movie. While all the major multiplexes shuffle movies within a few weeks, this theatre always has the worth watching movies running for quite some time.

Pan Singh's life  made me think... about the fact that how circumstances make a completely different person of us. Deep within, while we remain the same entity, we keep weaving our life around the challenges thrown at us. Then one day when we reflect back, we realize we are not the person that we were. Kept thinking of the callous policeman who was just not ready to carry out his duty.  I wonder as humans, why can't we relate to someone's problems. What makes people do what they do? Why do we carry so much of burden of selfishness within us?  How can someone who is supposedly a caretaker of the people  behave so callously. Why do they step out of their institutions and wipe clean from their conscience, the oaths they had taken during their training. Policemen and doctors, should be our support system at the time of crisis.  How many doctors have the sympathy or the guts to take in patients who deserve immediate medical attention and attend to them with urgency and  save their lives. A helpless patient and his family members are made to run from one hospital to other till they can't defy death any more.  Do these doctors, even for once at the end of the day think as to what must have happened of the patient they turned away during the course of the day?  Patients are lying in the wards awaiting treatment and there are no doctors available. This still happens after years of planning by the government to provide more medical aid to the citizens. Believe me it was easier to feel helpless twenty years ago, because we knew there was genuine scarcity of doctors.

To think of a time when every citizen's medical care will be a responsibility of the government, is still a far off dream, because the harbingers of the foundation of the country are busy collecting the who's who of the society in the Rajya Sabha. For all you know next they might even come out with the idea of a Madam Tussauds. Where..? Ahem, ahem...give it your best guess, it's easy.

This Vicky is Progressive

I am just back after watching the much talked about movie Vicky Donor.  A Fabulous film. An extremely delicate topic handled with such maturity, that I didn't feel awkward watching it with family. And I can say the same thing about the others too, in the audience.  It is wholesome entertainment and a progressive film. Oh how I wish, that the count of good hindi films is as good as Vicky's sperm count.  At least I will have more choices of  Hindi films to watch and not keep running back to Hollywood. 

I won't be grumpy in my post today, coz I have had a content Sunday. The girl who cooks at my home had taken a day off, so I was supposed to work in the kitchen. Now that is one thing I love doing. So obviously the lunch had to be something other than the routine fair. Prawn Risotto, that was great as lunch. Italy is one place where I want to take a culinary trip to. These trips are the latest craze. One gets to travel and even learn the local dishes from the chefs. Now what's better than that for a foodie like me! So the next time when I prepare Risotto, I will know how close my dish is to the original.

After a Sunday spent contentedly, I am off to prepare a cup of peppermint tea and retire for the day, to be ready to face a great week ahead.....

Goodnight and vedervi presto.

Will Miss Famous Studios

My older brother has been there looking for work, then I went there looking for a job, my brother's son too went there and dropped his CV at one of the studios about 3years ago. Unfortunately his children will only hear of it or read about it in nostalgia evoking articles.  Famous Studios, Mahalaxmi.  It has been a landmark. The first time I went there, I was about 21 years old. I wasn't prepared for the maze I was stepping into. I couldn't find my way out. Kept on going round and round. At last,  I went back to the office, where I had dropped my CV.  The sweet lady at the reception was not amused at all at my plight. She smiled and asked the office boy to show me the way. The boy guided me to the stairs and asked me whether I wanted him to come down, to the gate. I am sure he used to come across lot of dimwits like me. By now I was feeling so stupid that I refused any further help and managed to find my way out from there.  I would have still been feeling foolish about that incident, had it not been that many years later when I happened to be there for some work, I led another lost soul to the gate.

Generations after generations of film fraternity and ad world  has stepped into the building which has been a landmark since 1946. So many tales of the past must the walls of the studio be holding close to them. Euphoria of the citizens of a country moving from being a colony to an independent nation must have unfurled around it. They all will be lost in the rubble of the building to make way to a new structure. I just hope whatever comes there is not a grotesque structure of steel and glass, something most of the builders in our country have taken fancy to. We find it easy to copy what the whole world is doing.  We don't want to pull out anything out of the hat. There are structures of glass all over the city which I personally feel do not go well with the heat of the city. Mostly these structures are so ill maintained that there are layers and layers of dust settling on them, making them extremely dirty to look at. But they are cropping up like weeds all over the city.

I am ready to hold the address Famous Studios, Dr. E Moses Road Mahalaxmi, as a sweet memory close to my heart and make way to a new structure only if the new structure makes me look up at it in awe.  Just like years ago when I landed in this vibrant city, I loved the view of the sea from Mahim Causeway. Even today I love that view with the added incentive of admiring the Worli Sea Link sprawled across the sea. As it is last year we bid adieu to many legends of the film world.....similarly with a heavy heart we will bid adieu to this legendary building too......

Life Post Auto Strike

Am back.  We all survived the auto strike.  Moreover, without complaining, we are shelling out more money for our auto rides. My son just walked in looking depressed because of the amount he paid for his auto ride back home from his office.  And I learnt a great way to force my employer into a pay hike. But what worries me is what my friends were discussing.  While some have posted it as their status messages too. That's the fact that the streets were so empty during the strike and they enjoyed driving. Hope the citizens don't get addicted to the regular on off strikes, and decide that they don't want auto's at all like downtown Mumbai. But surely we are too lazy to rebel to any inconvenience. We'd rather lap up the inconveniences in our stride and be the martyrs.

 A day after the strike was over, the streets were  chaotic again. Every one was in a hurry. Impatience and agression is regular on Mumbai roads and as the temperature in the city goes up, more and more agression sets in. People don't have the time and patience to let the others pass by. The Zebra crossings are mute spectators to the commotion. At New Link Road, there was a traffic jam and I thought, 'maybe its a nakabandi'.  But when I reached the tip of the bottleneck, I realized,  a private taxi and our trademark yellow and black cab had bumped into each other.  Surprisingly, the drivers had all the patience to let their vehicles be in the middle of the road, step out in the blazing sun, and argue right there, inconveniencing a whole lot of traffic...... "Nothing can happen of my city", I thought and moved on, only to be proved wrong soon.

At Juhu, near Marriott, once more I was crawling in the traffic. This time the driver of a private taxi must have been in a tearing hurry. So rather than driving further ahead of Hometown cafe and taking a U turn, he decided to drive on the wrong side of the road. With passengers in his taxi, he like a hero, tried to cut across the road and maneuver his car through the opening near Marriott and move to the other side. Poor soul encountered a hot headed citizen, who not only obstructed his path by his car, but got off and gave him a piece of his mind. In the centre of the road stuck in a strange position the red faced taxiwallah was not only forced to gulp down the piece of advice, but was also made to reverse his taxi and take the right path. His plan to save may be 3 minutes backfired and he ended up wasting everybody's time. Oh how I wish I was as courageous as that citizen......

Illegal strikers will face six months of jail...For that I think first the government has to construct more of jails....because taking into consideration the kind of strikes that happen in my country, I am sure they need lots of space to accomodate the number of strikers. But then what with the kind of law and order that only one out of 198 auto drivers responded to RTO's show cause notice....?

Congress has lost in delhi.....Wasn't that bound to happen? Is there anything to analyse about it? I would rather analyse the fact that why in the mornings when I sit down to read my newspaper, do I feel that I am holding a crime tabloid? To all those innocent lives lost either due to a negligent governing body or by the waywardness of a strayed citizen, May their Souls Rest in Peace.

Vegetable prices are set to soar. That is what the newspapers tell me. Reason : scarcity of water in the rural areas. Since the time I have read this news I am trying to figure out when was the last time the prices were stable. They have only been soaring up in the skies, be it because of the scarcity of water, the rising prices of petrol, the strike by the transport department or closer home, my bhajiwala deciding to take leave for two days. The third day he comes back with prices of his own because in his own right, he too has to make up for the lost two days.....

On the other hand what goes up should never come down. So the prices keep soaring and we keep on buying the veggies without flinching a bit because Indians today can afford anything and everything. The bhajiwalas know this very well, that's the reason they have different price slabs for different areas. What may be selling for Rs 32/- a kilo in Malad, will have a price of Rs 40/- a kilo in the more upmarket Lokhandwala or Versova. Upmarket because these areas boast of addresses of many stars, and that's what gives it the tag of being upmarket. And people talk about equality...???  If that is not enough to irritate you, then go ahead and pick up your phone and place an order for home delivery of some veggies. Try asking the bhajiwala the price of any vegetable...there will be a second's pause and you will be asked sweetly, "Kaun si building bhabhi?" (which building?). The price quoted will be according to the name of your building. You fume...! Believe me, that's all you can do, because no one around you is cribbing. Well, I go a step ahead and wish for a rebirth of Mrs. Indira Gandhi.

Today being a Sunday, you must have certainly replenished your veggies.  Primarily because the city is going to wake up to another auto strike tomorrow.  By the way, by now most of us must have gotten ourselves well versed in facing this challenge, that looms large every couple of months. As a money making idea, I was thinking,  somebody who has a sound financial background and good contacts, can invest in a good amount of Nano's and on such strike days can just bring them on the road. Given the regularity with which the auto's take a break, I am sure he/she will mint enough money (even if it happens only twice a year), that he can go on a vacation for the rest of the time.

While two issues, I feel are enough to crib about for today. I would say good-night for now. And while u brace yourself up for a busy Monday, minus the trademark auto's on the streets, let me ponder over the fact as to how a quake in Indonesia can damage a flyover in Lalbag.......

Will come cribbing back next weekend.

Summer has set into my city. The heat is getting unbearable with each passing day. So today morning when I stepped out for my walk, I was taken aback by the whiff of fresh air which filled my lungs with the pure smell of morning dew and greenery. Hurriedly I took a few deep breaths, so sure that by the end of it the freshness will be gone. But fortunately I  enjoyed it for another 20 minutes and felt blissed. My thoughts immediately wandered off to the times when I used to go visit my son when he was studying in Woodstock School, Mussoorie a couple of years back.  24/7....yes 24/7 I could fill my lungs with the pure fresh air. Supposedly some years back my area in Mumbai too, was less crowded and there was no dust. I could keep the windows open ALWAYS. Didn't need the AC's. The maintenance guy would finish his job in ten minutes and would crib that we didn't use the AC much. But today if I keep the windows open for even 10 mins, I have a fine layer of dust all over my furniture. My heart yearns for the blissful days lost to the  agressive  development and the continous interior re-decoration going on in people's home every year. By March end I feel the need for AC's in my home. Sadly, my thoughts wander back to Mussoorie and I realise that few years from now I won't be able to fill my lungs with fresh air in Mussoorie too. I am pretty sure about this, taking into consideration the various changes the beautiful hill town is going through with so many brands coming in and the quality of the tourist getting rowdier. The town seems to be developing, but, I wonder at what cost?

Development should transform a place in a way that life gets easier and healthier for its inhabitants. It doesn't seem so when I pick up the morning newspapers and go through the statistics of pollution and the diseases setting in. The city should be getting more appealing to the eyes. On the contrary, the Metro construction is not even done and there are posters pasted at many strategic points already. I miss what Mumbai was and looked ten years ago. But then, its name sounded good as well.

When it comes to sounds, today morning at the age of 44 I wondered if I should go for a phonetics class in English. The afterthought was a result of a discussion with my son on how to pronounce Chris Evans' (Captain America in The Avengers) name. (Well he is from Woodstock school and has an accent to his English, which he has not given up even after two years of being back in Mumbai and knows how to pronounce all the English names) I pronounced it ee-vans...but he corrected it to be eh-vans like..... There was a heated argument and I tried to support with various examples that Eva makes it to be pronounced as  ee-vans. As a dedicated soul to the rightfulness of English and to prove that he is correct, in the heat of the argument he too excitedly put forth an example saying, "it might be at some places but Eva (he was talking about Eva in Wall E) was called eeva and so it is eeeeeeee......  errrrrrr.... Eh-vans." There was a pause and then we both could only burst out laughing .....

After contemplating for a couple of years I finally sat down today, to write this blog, because I felt my frustrations  as a Mumbaikar were innumerable and I needed to vent them out. I feel sad at the way the city is shaping up, but still my heart wants to believe, that after maybe about ten years of development, it will turn out to be beautiful and at par with major cities of the world. That's the undying attitude the city imparts to its residents.

I'll be back soon with few more frustrations. You too are invited to vent them out and let's discuss them and throw them out of our systems. Maybe that way we can cool ourselves off a little this summer...